Approaching a stranger, especially a girl, on the street can be a very anxiety inducing experience.
This is why the three second rule exists. If you wait for too much time, you will simply give yourself tens of reasons not to do so and every single one of those reasons will make sense.
However, there is another trick you can use to get in a mood for approaching girls you don’t know. This is to get in a good mood. It comes with two different advantages.
If you are in a good mood, you’ll transmit this to her too.
It is a bit hard to get her number if you go in a very serious mood or if everything you do and say expresses anxiety.
On the other hand, if you are happy, you’ll smile in a natural manner and you’ll make her smile too. Energy is transmitted with ease and if you want her to be happy, you want to be happy.
The second advantage is that you won’t have your mind sabotaging you.
You know how hard is to do something when you are feeling down. No matter if it is as simple as cleaning your place, doing work or even brushing your teeth or waking up in the morning, a bad mood leads to procrastination.
While you can approach while in a bad mood, it is like fighting an uphill battle. It is ten times harder and I rarely succeed when I do this.
Or to put it simply, your mood will be directly proportionate to your desire to do this and to your success rate.
Below are seven strategies I use to get in a good mood before going out to meet new, beautiful girls.
Strategy #1 – Exercise. Your mood is determined by a combination of chemicals created in your body. For example, serotonin, the happiness hormone improves your mood. Dopamine makes you more alert and a bit aggressive. Oxytocin is the love hormone and when you have it in a high concentration in your body, you’ll feel loving and affectionate towards other people.
When you exercise, you will automatically increase the right substances in your body. It also relieves you of your anxiety, quiets down your internal talk and gives you a clearer sense of focus and energy. In other words, it creates an “super-you”.
What kind of exercising should you do? Well, any type that gets your heart-rate up. Running, weight training, body-weight training, aerobics, etc. As long as you can get to +100 beats per minute, you’re going to feel better.
A 10 – 15 minute exercise session before going out (followed, of course, by a shower). will do wonders for your mood and this may be the best single advice you can get from this entire book.
Strategy #2 – Call a friend. I’m sure you know a friend that can make you laugh or put you in a good mood. The kind of person that after each interaction leaves you with a huge grin on your face.
A five minute phone call can do wonders and as I’ve mentioned earlier, your new sense of energy and happiness will transmit to her.
Strategy #3 – Take a nap. There are few things in this life that a nap can’t solve. If you are angry or anxious or simply you don’t feel like doing this, take a 30 minute nap then a hot shower and you’ll feel like new.
There isn’t more to say about this – it is simply the fact that most emotions can be flushed away through sleeping.
Strategy #4 – Watch motivational videos. I like to keep on my phone a large library of motivational audios and videos, most of them ripped from YouTube.com. Every single time I feel down, I listen to something to pump me up. It is not as effective as the above strategies but it is a fast and efficient short term fix.
Strategy #5 – Pump up the music. Music is very effective in influencing your mood, both in a positive and negative manner. So put up some motivational, inspiring music (like Eminem) and go out there. It will also block your internal chatter.
Strategy #6 – Spend time with a female friend. Female energy and male energy is very different. When you spend time with a girl, it “rubs” on you. You become more comfortable. It becomes more natural. So having a coffee with a female friend before going out in the field makes it more natural to approach other girls.
Strategy #7 – Eliminate the end goal.
This is maybe the most important strategy and I’ll get into details about it.
You see, in life, when you pursue success, you will usually not get it. The more you want it, the more elusive it is. Success usually appears as a side-effect of other things, as a consequence, not as the cause itself.
The same applies when you go on the street to meet new girls. If you go out with the goal to get five phone numbers, you will most likely fail. You’ll be so anxious about the goal that you’ll most likely screw it up.
And then comes the law of averages.
No matter how good you are (or how bad), you’ll eventually get a number. It just depends on how many girls you approach. Some people get 3 out of 5 numbers. Others 1 out of 100. But eventually you’ll always get a number. You can always trust the law of averages.
So instead of going out with the purpose of getting five numbers, go out with the purpose of approaching 25 or 50 girls. When you’ll get a number, you’ll know the average.
If you get a number in ten, then you’ll know that if you approach 100 girls this week, you’re going to get ten phone numbers. As you get better, this average will improve.
When you simply go out and you don’t care about the result, only about the process, only about how many girls you approach, it actually becomes very, very easy.
If someone rejected you, just move to the next one and the next one. Statistics don’t lie and you’ll get that number sooner or later, as long as you keep going.
When I’ve first started, my success rate was about 1 in 40. I knew that if I try 40 times, I’ll get at least one number. Afterwards, it became 1 in 30, 1 in 25 and so on. Right now, I get a phone
number for each 4 girls I approach and if I want to get 10 phone numbers in a day, I simply approach 40 girls.
So keep this in mind – you may suck at it when you first get started, but eventually, you’ll succeed. Just keep going. Do it enough and it impossible not to reach your goal.