Do Looks Matter In Seduction?

There are many pick-up coaches that say that no matter how you look, you can get the girl. This is hypocrisy since they don’t follow the same rule and they are either very good looking or very well dressed.

To put it simply, yes, it matters, but not as much as you think it does. In other words, you need to be handsome enough for her to be proud to go out with you but you don’t need to look like a movie star to get in bed with her.

If you are so ugly that she’ll be embarrassed with you, then it doesn’t matter how good you are at the game. Social pressure and the fact that people talk (and gossip) will act against you. You can still get the girl, even in that case, but it is far harder and to be honest – if you put 10% of the effort to get that good in improving how you look, you’ll make things far easier for you.

I don’t consider myself a good looking person, not at the handsome level anyway. But I know how to care care of myself. I dress nice, I groom and I keep myself clean. I can say that I’m average and yes, there are some girls out there who will go out only with guys who look like models.

These girls are not my target. Some of them are not even pretty, they are plain ugly. They’ve simply decided that looks are the most important thing to look in a man and I’m OK with that.

But in the same time, with my average but groomed and taken care of look I’ve managed to score perfect 10s, the kind of girls you would see on the cover of an adult magazine.

So my friend, even if you are not buffed, tall and handsome, even if you are not turning heads on the street, you can still get the girl. But you need to do your best to take care of you. Smell nice. Shave. Have a nice haircut. If you don’t have money for expensive clothes, then iron your existing ones and keep them clean. Keep your shoes clean.

That will go a long way.

Self-Esteem & Dating

Self-esteem is your own worth, your own perception of worth since this is very subjective. There is no universal standard of what you deserve and what are your options. Instead, it is something you decide, through what you think and through how you behave.

And self-esteem limits your dating options.

Do you remember the old score? That if you are a seven, you can get a maximum of eight and anything under it? It is BS. You can get a ten if you want and if you work for it.

The problem with most people is that they consider themselves a five or a six and that most cute girls are out of their reach. Not only this but everything good in life is out of their reach. That amazing experiences are for “other people” but not for them.

While there is a limit to your achievement, a real hard limit, there is no limit to your potential. I’ll be honest. If you are ugly and fat, don’t expect to get a ten. Or a eight. Or a seven. Things do not work this way.

But if you are ugly and fat, you can make yourself handsome and hit the gym. And transform yourself from a five to a seven. In the end, everything that is humanly possible is within your reach.

The cliche of “being liked for what you are” works within some boundaries. You’ll attract people like you. If you are a five, you’ll attract your equal and your inferior. So the only rational choice is to make yourself a better person and attract higher quality people.

You can’t do what you are not. This is one of the basic principles of life. So if it offers you any comfort, you can attract and sleep with girls up to a level. There are a lot of girls who want to be in your bed tonight. But if you want the amazing ones, the ones you fantasize about, then work on yourself.

How To Pick-UP In Bars & Nightclubs

Why do people go to nightclubs?

To have sex mostly. Girls and boys alike. It is like the perfect mating ground. Yet, nobody will ever admit this. And as a consequence, people will dance, kiss, touch, have sex in the bathroom but in the same time, nobody will say that they are there for this. They’ll say that it is for fun.

That being said, here are seven rules for being successful in a nightclub or a similar venue.

Rule #1 – Dress nice.

How you look accounts 90% in such a venue. It may not matter that much everywhere else but a venue like this is designed for people to stand out, in way of physical attractiveness.

So really dress up for the occasion. Before you can even say hi, how you look will talk for you. It will be your calling card.

Rule #2 – Be calm and relaxed.

Nightclubs are not ideal places for introverts. Loud sounds, a lot of people, strong lights, everything combined can really make you feel nervous.

And if you are nervous, you will transmit your anxiety and this is not the way to get the girl. If you feel jumpy and like you don’t belong there, just leave. It won’t work out or stay there, get used to the environment and approach at a later date.

Personally, I’ve visited nightclubs for weeks in a row without meeting a single girl just to get used to the new environment and it is an investment that paid of.

Rule #3 – Approach groups.

Unless on the dance floor, girls will generally be found in groups. They will either be with other girls or in mixed groups. It is rare, very rare to find a girl alone in a nightclub and when you do find one, she’s either waiting for someone or she has a really, really bad night and wants to be alone.

So when approaching, don’t girl to a single girl. Go to the group. Become a friend to the group. If they trust you, you’ll have a far easier job later. If they don’t like you, they’ll do everything in their power to block you and believe me, in a nightclub, they’ll succeed. You may even get your ass kicked.

So game the group in order to get the girl. If she is on the dance floor, you can dance directly with her and this will go a long way, but at some point, you’ll have to meet the group.

Rule #4 – Don’t drink.

While having a beer or two is good when trying to have fun, every drink you have will reduce your reaction time. In order to approach and to be responsive to what is happening around you, you need to keep a clear mind and booze, of any kind, will not really help you with this.

Plus, even if you may become more courageous drunk, chances are that it may be the wrong type of courage. You can drink whenever you go out to have fun but when trying to pick up girls, it is better to stick to water.

Rule #5 – Smile.

I can’t stress this enough. It doesn’t really matter where you are. You can be on the street, you can be in a club, you can be on a cruise-ship or in the Sahara desert. If you see someone else, especially a beautiful girl, smile.

Smiling is the universal signal for goodwill and it puts most people’s defense down.

Rule #6 – Have someone around.

For most girls, the guy that is always alone in a nightclub and never speaks with anyone is a creep. And creeps rarely get laid.

Bring some friends. They don’t have to be good friends but you need to have company. To have someone at the table. To have someone to talk with. It raises your social value automatically. If you can do this with girls, it works ten times better.

Rule #7 – HAVE FUN!

This is what everyone around you is doing anyway. You may get laid. You may not. It doesn’t really matter in the end. Have fun and good things will happen. A paradox of life is that the more you pursue something, the more you’ll push that something away.

The same happens in clubs. The more stressed you are about getting that phone number, the less likely it is going to happen. So go there, meet some new people, carry a few conversations, have a good time and the girl(s) will appear too. I promise that!

One Night Stands or Relationships?

This is a question that I get a lot.

You meet a girl. You sleep with her. From that point, should you start a relationship (as she wants) or simply keep it as a ONS?

It depends on a case to case basis.

You see, there are some people with whom you can spend only a few minutes at a time before wanting to kick them in the mouth. And there are folks with whom you can spend days in the same room and not feel bored or overwhelmed.

The same principle comes down to a woman. If you feel like she is girlfriend material and you can spend quality time with her, go for it. If you feel like the only good thing you’ve got out of the interaction was sex, then keep it for sex.

Don’t go through the pretense of a relationship just in order to get sex. It is not worth it. There are more than enough girls out there and you don’t have to settle with anyone unless this is what you really, really, REALLY want.

In order for a girl to sleep with you, she must meet certain standards. These differ from person to person. But in order for her to have a relationship with you, she must meet other standards, far higher.

Now don’t get me wrong. She won’t think this way. Nine out of ten girls, after sex, will want a relationship. It is something evolutionary, a part of her will always want to stick around after sex. But sex is NOT, I repeat, is NOT, the buying price into a relationship.

Always judge a girl but who she is, not if she sleeps with you or not, when going for a relationship. It will save you a lot of hassle in the long term.

Developing A Process In Game

I’ve read one of the most fascinating things lately. You know why people like Zuckerberg (the creator of Facebook) always dress in casual clothes? Or why people like the late Steve Jobs always dressed in similar clothes?

It isn’t because they are cheap. It is in order to save time. By having the same dress code every single day, the save time.

Every successful person follows a process, a set of actions that are done again and again with a predetermined purpose. This saves them from the need to think about it every time and from wasting time on different options.

So why shouldn’t you do the same thing? Why shouldn’t you follow a process when going out to meet girls?

In other words – you should create a process from start to finish.

Here is how such a process would look like:

  • Opening.
  • First topic covered.
  • Second topic.
  • Third topic.
  • Questions you’ll ask her.
  • Asking her number.
  • Post number small-talk.

In other words, you don’t want to be stuck. You don’t want to wonder “what’s next” and always have something prepared. For example, one of my processes was to ask for directions and interesting places when in a new country.

The conversation always started with something like …

“Hi, I’m a tourist here and I’m a bit lost. Where can I find XYZ?”

She would reply something and then I would ask …

“Speaking of which, what other fun places can you reccomend me in this town?”

From this point, the conversation picked off naturally and I would always ask for the phone number at the end. Based on the feedback I’ve got (how she reacted), I improved my process. At some point I approached about 5 – 6 girls an hour using this process.

You can use this mindset in other areas of your life too. If you define a process, step by step actions, you’ll get results faster in any area you want.

For example, a lot of people want to take up running, especially in the morning. Most give up after two or three days, when the initial motivation goes away.

But what if you could define a process? Such a process would look like:

  • Set an alarm to go to sleep, so you can get at least seven hours of quality sleep a night. This alarm can go at 22:00.
  • Prepare your running clothes and sneakers from the evening before, you want to have everything ready, even your iPod or MP3 player.
  • Set the first alarm at 06:55 and put it away from your bed, so you won’t hit the snooze button automatically.
  • Set the second alarm at 07:00.
  • Have a bottle of water next to the clothes.
  • Once you wake up, drink water, shower and get dressed into the gym clothes. Go outside and run.

If you prepare everything beforehand, especially if you prepare your environment, it will become a habit far, far faster.

So as a final trick, define a process so you always know what you need to do next. It will save you a lot of time and it will help you get through the initial pain period, where you are not very good at it and you will not get results easily.

Believe In Yourself When You Approach A Woman

This part of the book is not about a technique. It is not about some secret strategy. It is about you. It is about you, the person who wants something else from his life.

The person who is sick and tired of spending fridays … and saturdays … and sundays … and maybe all the days of the week alone. The person which wants to meet as many girls as possible and wants to offer them something good … no matter if it is about the experience, the trust or simply the sex.

You may have wondered, often, why you are not successful with the opposite sex. Why some people find it so natural and easy while you find it among the hardest things in life.

Well, my friend, there is no simple answer to this. This is how things are. Some people were taught to be more courageous since a young age and this easily translated into young adulthood.

Some people prefered to play Football instead of playing computer games and therefore, developed social skills faster than you. In the end, what you are right now is a consequence of everything you’ve done (or lacked to do) in your lifetime.

Your identity determines the results you achieve in life. And your identity is a sum of many factors, some that are easy to understand and others that are hidden deep within your psyche.

What you need to understand is that where you are now is not representative of where you’ve been. However, in the same time, unless you change something, in five years you’ll be the same person and as a consequence, you’ll get exactly the same results.

In life, nothing changes unless you change. It all starts with you. Dating won’t change. Social interactions won’t change. Until you take the decision to take control of your life and do something amazing with it, you won’t change your results.

I know that it is scary. This is why so few people do it.

Most people prefer to complain.

For example, let’s take a person that is overweight. The fastest and easiest way to lose weight is to eat less while burning more calories. Yet, few people do this. Most people prefer to simply complain and condemn others for why they fail.

Yet, this is hypocrisy. Life is not fair and we are not all made equal. Would you be attracted to a girl that is not attractive? Mostly not.

Then why should an attractive girl be attracted to you if you are not attractive? It is live by the sword and die by the sword. And I guess this is the entire central idea between seduction and what I’m trying to teach you here.

You can find excuses why you don’t want to do it. You can rationalize. Nobody will condemn you. It is your life. Yet, if you want results, you need to put in the work and nothing, nothing at all in this world can change this (unless you become very good looking or become rich).

Will approaching girls be easy?

No.

Will you get results from day one?

No, unless you are very lucky.

Will you get rejected a lot?

Yes.

But it is worth it. It is worth it because if you get good at this, if you develop this skill, then you won’t be alone ever again. You’ll be in the position to chose. You’ll be one of the few who can meet someone new whenever he wants.

And that’s not all.

You’re also going to develop as a person. You’ll see how your self esteem increases overnight and you’ll perform better at work. You’ll have more faith in yourself. You’ll start to take better care of yourself. This simple thing – this simple decision – to start approaching girls will change your entire life.

It will compound into changes you can’t even realize right now. And then, one day, you’ll find yourself in a different world, as a different person.

A world in which sex is not a big deal because it is easily available. A world where you feel and you are in control over your own existence and a world where all your shyness, all your anxiety, is gone.

And this is the end goal. To transform yourself. To become the next version of yourself. To become what you’ve always wanted.

That’s why my friend – I welcome you on this journey. It is not only about sex and meeting girls. It is about having the courage to transform yourself and be what you’ve only dreamt of. And doing this – going on this road was and still is one of the best decisions of my life.

You see, you don’t know what you don’t know.

There are four levels of competence in life. These are:

* Unconscious incompetence.

* Conscious incompetence.

* Conscious competence.

* Unconscious competence.

When you are at the first level, you don’t even know that you have some shortcomings. You haven’t put yourself in a situation to see if you can do it or not. Everyone single person that starts in this journey starts here.

You’ll soon realize how many skills you lack and that your self-confidence in the real world is not as good as you think it is. And that’s alright. We’ve all gotta start somewhere. You first need to be awful at something in order to become good.

Then you get to level two. You realize that you don’t know how to do things but at least you know that there is a better way. This is the “a-ha” moment. It is the moment when you decide to change something because you are not going to live this way anymore.

At this stage, you are looking for ways to meet girls. You are studying and you are trying new stuff in the field. It is not easy. You are still going to fail, a lot, but you are on the right road.

The third stage is when you are actually getting good at it. You must think every move and you are like an actor playing a role, but things are working in your favor. You are getting phone numbers, even dates. You are making progress. Sometimes you fail, sometimes you win, but at least you know that if you do the right things often enough, you’ll succeed.

Finally, you move into the fourth stage. This is when it becomes a part of you. This is when everything you do, learn becomes a second nature so you can simply go out and meet girls. This is your final goal.

You can’t jump from 1 to 4. You need to go through each and every single step of the learning process. I assume that you are eager to get results but until you fail, you can’t succeed.

That’s the mindset you need to have.

Accept failure.

Accept the fact that you’ll suck at first. And accept that it is all a number’s game. A game in which if you do it enough, no matter how good or bad you are, you’re going to get results. The more you’ll do it, the better you’ll get at it, the faster you’ll get results.

If you want to eliminate everything but the basic concept – the more work you put in now, the less work you’ll have to put in later. If it will take 50 approaches to get a number when you first get started, if you do it constantly, in six months that number will be down to five.

So get started. NOW. It is the fastest and easiest way to get where you want to be.

Get Yourself In A Good Mood Before Approaching

Approaching a stranger, especially a girl, on the street can be a very anxiety inducing experience.

This is why the three second rule exists. If you wait for too much time, you will simply give yourself tens of reasons not to do so and every single one of those reasons will make sense.

However, there is another trick you can use to get in a mood for approaching girls you don’t know. This is to get in a good mood. It comes with two different advantages.

If you are in a good mood, you’ll transmit this to her too.

It is a bit hard to get her number if you go in a very serious mood or if everything you do and say expresses anxiety.

On the other hand, if you are happy, you’ll smile in a natural manner and you’ll make her smile too. Energy is transmitted with ease and if you want her to be happy, you want to be happy.

The second advantage is that you won’t have your mind sabotaging you.

You know how hard is to do something when you are feeling down. No matter if it is as simple as cleaning your place, doing work or even brushing your teeth or waking up in the morning, a bad mood leads to procrastination.

While you can approach while in a bad mood, it is like fighting an uphill battle. It is ten times harder and I rarely succeed when I do this.

Or to put it simply, your mood will be directly proportionate to your desire to do this and to your success rate.

Below are seven strategies I use to get in a good mood before going out to meet new, beautiful girls.

Strategy #1 – Exercise. Your mood is determined by a combination of chemicals created in your body. For example, serotonin, the happiness hormone improves your mood. Dopamine makes you more alert and a bit aggressive. Oxytocin is the love hormone and when you have it in a high concentration in your body, you’ll feel loving and affectionate towards other people.

When you exercise, you will automatically increase the right substances in your body. It also relieves you of your anxiety, quiets down your internal talk and gives you a clearer sense of focus and energy. In other words, it creates an “super-you”.

What kind of exercising should you do? Well, any type that gets your heart-rate up. Running, weight training, body-weight training, aerobics, etc. As long as you can get to +100 beats per minute, you’re going to feel better.

A 10 – 15 minute exercise session before going out (followed, of course, by a shower). will do wonders for your mood and this may be the best single advice you can get from this entire book.

Strategy #2 – Call a friend. I’m sure you know a friend that can make you laugh or put you in a good mood. The kind of person that after each interaction leaves you with a huge grin on your face.

A five minute phone call can do wonders and as I’ve mentioned earlier, your new sense of energy and happiness will transmit to her.

Strategy #3 – Take a nap. There are few things in this life that a nap can’t solve. If you are angry or anxious or simply you don’t feel like doing this, take a 30 minute nap then a hot shower and you’ll feel like new.

There isn’t more to say about this – it is simply the fact that most emotions can be flushed away through sleeping.

Strategy #4 – Watch motivational videos. I like to keep on my phone a large library of motivational audios and videos, most of them ripped from YouTube.com. Every single time I feel down, I listen to something to pump me up. It is not as effective as the above strategies but it is a fast and efficient short term fix.

Strategy #5 – Pump up the music. Music is very effective in influencing your mood, both in a positive and negative manner. So put up some motivational, inspiring music (like Eminem) and go out there. It will also block your internal chatter.

Strategy #6 – Spend time with a female friend. Female energy and male energy is very different. When you spend time with a girl, it “rubs” on you. You become more comfortable. It becomes more natural. So having a coffee with a female friend before going out in the field makes it more natural to approach other girls.

Strategy #7 – Eliminate the end goal.

This is maybe the most important strategy and I’ll get into details about it.

You see, in life, when you pursue success, you will usually not get it. The more you want it, the more elusive it is. Success usually appears as a side-effect of other things, as a consequence, not as the cause itself.

The same applies when you go on the street to meet new girls. If you go out with the goal to get five phone numbers, you will most likely fail. You’ll be so anxious about the goal that you’ll most likely screw it up.

And then comes the law of averages.

No matter how good you are (or how bad), you’ll eventually get a number. It just depends on how many girls you approach. Some people get 3 out of 5 numbers. Others 1 out of 100. But eventually you’ll always get a number. You can always trust the law of averages.

So instead of going out with the purpose of getting five numbers, go out with the purpose of approaching 25 or 50 girls. When you’ll get a number, you’ll know the average.

If you get a number in ten, then you’ll know that if you approach 100 girls this week, you’re going to get ten phone numbers. As you get better, this average will improve.

When you simply go out and you don’t care about the result, only about the process, only about how many girls you approach, it actually becomes very, very easy.

If someone rejected you, just move to the next one and the next one. Statistics don’t lie and you’ll get that number sooner or later, as long as you keep going.

When I’ve first started, my success rate was about 1 in 40. I knew that if I try 40 times, I’ll get at least one number. Afterwards, it became 1 in 30, 1 in 25 and so on. Right now, I get a phone

number for each 4 girls I approach and if I want to get 10 phone numbers in a day, I simply approach 40 girls.

So keep this in mind – you may suck at it when you first get started, but eventually, you’ll succeed. Just keep going. Do it enough and it impossible not to reach your goal.

Pre-selection

As humans, we want what other people want too.

It doesn’t really matter if that thing is valuable. The simply thing that others want it makes it valuable. It is one of the main principles in marketing and sales.

And no matter what are your qualities or flaws, the simply fact that another woman wants you makes you more attractive to the “marketplace”.

As you may already know, married men are far more interesting than those who are not married even if they are virtually the same person.

This is the social theory of preselection. If you can show that another woman already chose you, you automatically become better for every other woman that is or may find an interest in you.

For most guys, this would raise an ethical problem. If you are more attractive when you already have a girlfriend, then this means you have to cheat her in order to get someone else.

On some level, this is a true affirmations. However, pre-selection can be conveyed in many ways and in this part of the eBook, we are going to cover these.

Anything from having your phone call, having photos with other beautiful women on Facebook (or on your phone) or lipstick marks on your white shirt will do the trick. Some can even be pre-fabricated, actually, all of them.

You can simply show that you are pre-selected, even if you are not. It is a bit manipulative but it won’t harm anyone and it is very effective.

In order for you to better understand this, let me give you a brief lesson in evolutionary psychology.

You see, attraction exists to serve only one purpose – replication.

This is built in in every living being. When you are attracted to someone, you want that person to be the mother or father of your children. A woman may not want kids, may just want sex, but on a basic, elemental level, her drive is fueled by this – her desire to have children with someone with good genes that can take care of her and her children.

Of course, in the 21st century this is not true. Most women do not want children up to a certain age and sex is a vehicle for pleasure, not for procreation.

This is the rational part.

The emotional, instinctive part is when a woman has a gut feeling that communicates “he’s good genetic material and he would make a good father”. When another woman does this, by choosing, it is like she is advertising this thing to the rest of the world.

It is like she is a walking advertising for your qualities and for the fact that you are good enough for her to have sex with you. It sounds strange but it is what it is and we are not here to judge. We are here to learn how to seduce.

Pre-selection works best when it is genuine.

When you have ten women in your life that are willing to sleep with you, you’ll be confident, you’ll feel good in your own skin and you’ll subconsciously transmit this to any other woman. It will be like a piece of clothing that makes you feel amazingly good.

But what do you do when you have none?

You build the pre-selection tricks.

You build the appearance that you are desired, that you are a hot commodity so you can take advantage of this instinctive desire to have what other people already want.

A pre-selection trick, put simply is something that you can show that implies other women like you or that you are in a sexual relationship with another woman.

Or you can simply do it on a passive level.

For a woman, it is not so much about the fact that you are wealthy as your ability to create wealth. It is an indicator that you are smart enough to make things happen.

Therefore, nice clothes, a nice watch, nice shoes are indicators that you are smart enough to create, that you are not average. However, if these are outside of your reach for whatever reason, stick to subtle but efficient pre-selection indicators.

Pre-selection works even on mediums like Facebook.

There is a reason why guys post photos showing them having fun and surrounded by other women. That woman may be his sister or cousin but it doesn’t really matter. Anyone who is surrounded with members of the opposite sex becomes attractive automatically.

That’s being said, here are my favorite ten tricks to create the perception of pre-selection.

Trick #1 – Lipstick stains.

This is very effective even if too many people are doing it right now. If you are wearing a white shirt or a male scarf, some lipstick on it will show her that you’ve been “naughty” before.

It is important though to make this look authentic. If you are just applying lipstick, like it is a marker, it will both ruin your shirt and it will look false from a mile away.

Best way is to simply ask your girl to do this for you.

She’ll find it funny and go with it. I’m NOT suggesting that you apply lipstick on yourself and then do it. I understand that you want to get a date today but that would be going way too far.

When it comes to a scarf though, it is far easier. Just put some lipstick in a spot and leave it there. When you’ll go out in the field, to approach, hide that part partially as you are trying to hide this, as this is something you don’t want her to see. She’ll notice it anyway and this will give you some authenticity.

Trick #2 – Photos on your phone.

This one can be either very simple or very hard, depending on the kind of life you lead. If you already have an interesting lifestyle, save some photos on your phone so she can see them.

This is a very useful trick, taught virtually in all schools of seductions.

Show photos where you are the leader of others and where you are surrounded by beautiful women.

You can introduce the photo in a conversation very easily. Since you are talking about your experiences and her, if you can tell a story and show some photos (that will put you into a great light), half of the job is done.

Now if you don’t have such photos, then create them. Take some photos in interesting situations, even if you are alone. The idea is to show her that you have an exciting life since girls dig exciting men.

Best photos are the ones in which you are outdoor and you are doing something interesting, even showing her your adventurous side.

Trick #3 – Faint scent of women cologne.

Before you go to the store to buy women cologne, stop. The idea here is to make it look like you’ve borrowed from her scent from hugging and such and not to put women cologne on you.

There is a major difference between an accidental transfer (as when you hug somebody) and when you apply it directly to your skin.

So here’s my advice. First, wear a layer of your own cologne. Second, apply very little and only in the key areas (as the neck and clothes, preferably clothes) some women cologne. It doesn’t matter which one as long as it smells nice.

You want the first cologne perceived to be yours and then a slight scent of something else. And I can’t repeat this enough, don’t over-do-it. There is nothing interesting about a men wearing female cologne on purpose.

Trick #4 – Lifestyle proofs.

Let me explain what this mean. No matter what you do or you don’t do, a woman wants someone who is exciting, interesting and lives a cool life. You may or you may not be that person but that’s beside the point.

What you can do is fake the signals for such a thing. For example, you may wear a “club-entry” bracelet, the kinds you get when you go to a club. Or a stamp on your hand showing her that you’ve been to some cool club last night.

Or you can accidentally drop two used tickets for a movie which signals her that you’ve at least had company.

I know that it sounds corny and fake. It is. But it is also very effective. You can’t brag “I’ve been to club X” but you can let her see this by noticing some proof of you being there. It is the same thing with Facebook check-ins.

Half of them are fake and are made only for the purpose of bragging that that individual has a social life.

While FB won’t help you here, indicators of where you’ve been or what you’ve done will.

Trick #5 – Have your phone call. A lot.

This is something known by almost all people. When your phone rings a lot, you are a busy and sought after person (unless you work in customer support, then it is your job).

So it may help that during a date to have your phone vibrate insistently. Of course, you should never answer as this signifies bad manners but at least she will know that you are an important person.

How can you do this? There are apps and services to call you at a specified hour. Or you can simply ask a friend to do this for you as a favor.

Preselection works best when it isn’t forced. All these tricks can backfire against you very, very fast. Do them too much and they’ll be visible from a mile and too little that she won’t even notice.

Therefore, experiment. See what works for you. See what gets you results. You can combine all of them or use just one or two. It is your call in the end. But don’t overdo it. And remember, your attitude must back up the appearances. If you are acting strange and you are lacking confidence, then all the tricks in the world may not be enough.

The Three Seconds Rule

You know what are the hardest five meters to walk in the life of a man?

When he sees a beautiful woman, a stranger, he wants to go to her and he has to walk those five meters and say hello to her.

It feels impossible.

It feels like your body will turn to jelly. And this is why most men don’t even do it. They see her, they like her but they hesitate so much that they’ll never even say hello.

And this is bad. Why? Think what can happen.

You go to her and you say hello. Best case scenario, you get to a date and to sex. Worst case scenario, she won’t even say hello back. But that’s it. Nothing bad can happen. Nobody will come to kick your ass.

Nobody will humiliate you.

If something bad actually happens, as her boyfriend coming to her, you can simply say that you’ve thought that it is someone you thought you knew and you apologize. But I guarantee, 99 out of 100 cases, she’ll simply say hello back to you and you can at least carry some small talk.

I’ve found myself confronted with this issue many, many times.

I saw girls, I knew that I was attracted to them yet I waited so much to go to them that eventually, I gave up completely. So that’s when I’ve discovered and implemented the three second rule.

What is this rule you may ask?

It is simple.

From the moment you see a beautiful woman to the moment you approach her, there should never pass more than three seconds. If more than three seconds will pass, you will get anxious, hesitate and the chances to do this will drop dramatically, almost to zero.

In other words, you will either do it in those three seconds or there is a strong chance that you won’t do it at all.

It takes the mind between 3 and 5 seconds to analyze and understand the social pressure to go to a beautiful woman and you need act before that.

Or to put it simply, consider that after three seconds, your inner talk acts like a barrier to approaching her. Like a body-guard that will do everything in its power to keep you away. That bodyguard is asleep only in those three seconds. Take advantage of that time.

Does that mean that you can’t approach her after these three seconds?

You can, but it is a lot harder. You’ll start to sweat and your breathing will become more intense. You’ll start to create scenarios in your mind – movies about all the reasons why she would reject you.

This rule served me well up until this point. Let me give you a story from my own life to exemplify.

I was with a couple of friends in a bar. It was an Monday night so the place was almost empty. I think there were 20 people in the entire place, including the bartenders.

Then I saw this girl. She was blonde, tall and very cute. She was sitting with a female friend at a table. I knew that I was interested in meeting her right then, on the spot.

Yet, I look towards her. She looked back and smiled. Yet, I’ve hesitated. Ten seconds passed. Twenty. One minute. Three. Five. With each passing second, I’ve found it harder and harder to simply go to her and say hello. My mind was filling with thoughts why she would reject me or slap me or that other bad things will happen.

She smiled to me. She gave me her permission. Yet, there I was sitting and doing nothing. Fortunately, there is a happy ending to the story, as finally, when she came to the bar to order something I finally taught to her and we’ve met subsequently.

But this was luck on my side.

It was her part, coming to the bar. If she would have not done that, maybe I would have missed the opportunity to get to know this wonderful girl forever.

On the other hand, let me tell you what is generally happening when I follow the three second rule. I see a girl. I know that if I don’t act in the first three seconds, I’m going to lose her forever.

So I simply go and say hi.

Sometimes she rejects me. She tells me that she’s not interested and even some embarrassing events happened.

But most of the time, she will smile and say hello back.

I’m not going with a pre-made story or with some lame excuse. I’m simply saying hi and girls like this approach. It shows that you are comfortable enough to be yourself and that you are not trying to compensate for anything (we’ll cover DHV – demonstrating higher value) a bit later.

Sometimes it ends up with a date. Other times it is a short conversation and I never see her again. Other times it ends with great sex.

But nothing bad happened up to this moment for simply saying “hello” to a girl and I’ve done it at least 250 times.

But you need to do it in the first three seconds. Period. It is the golden rule. And if you will never use anything again, no technique, no mindset, nothing but this rule, you’ll still have more dates and sexual partners than you’ll ever have time for.

Why is that? What is the psychology behind this rule?

It is simple. Your brain is designed to help you survive. When we were living in tribes, going to a new woman and saying “hello” may have meant death. Her partner may have killed you. That’s how our brain is wired. So your brain automatically protects you by creating anxiety so you don’t do it.

But we are not in tribal times anymore. No one will kill you for talking with a woman. I’m not saying that you should approach girls that are with partners but single girls or girls that go out single are safe.

The worst thing that can happen is her saying no through one way or another. That’s it. No one will know.

You’ve got nothing to lose.

This is what in business is called a very small downside.

But what about the upside? Well – you can get her phone number. A date. A night with her. A relationship. The upside is huge. It is a great scenario if you think about it.

Q & A (Questions & Answers)

Q: What do you do if you see her but you can’t approach in three seconds, due to other circumstances? (her being with friends / you being with someone else, etc).

A: The best thing you can do is to take her out of your mind. Don’t focus on it. Do your thing. Do something else. When the opportunity strikes, just go to her.

But don’t obsess for 10 – 20 minutes approaching her as you’ll find five different ways to sabotage yourself.

Q: I’ve hesitated approaching her initially and now, I’m stuck. What do I do?

A: Find another girl and follow the three second rule with her. Success leads to more success. If you’ve approached another girl, then you’ll get more confidence and it will become easier to go to your initial target, even if you’ve hesitated at first.

But from my own experience – if you’ve missed the three seconds at the initial contact, then forget about her for a few minutes, do another approach and then return to your target.

It is like restarting your computer when it starts to work slowly. It won’t help you if you give it more to do. It will work slower and slower. Instead, restart so you can get a clean state.

Q: What should I say to her?

A: There are many school of thoughts about how you can open.

Some people say that a circumstantial opener is best. This may be something like “Hey, this bar is empty tonight, it is always like this?”.

To be honest, while you may get an answer, unless you are a very good actor and you are good looking, this rarely works. It is very clear that you are just trying to get her to talk to you and this puts her on a superior position.

I simply prefer to go to her, say hi and introduce myself. It is the simplest solution and generally the most effective. She’ll may say something like “what do you want?”. Simply say that you’ve saw her and you want to get to meet her. It is as simple as that.

Don’t invent a story. It just makes you look desperate.

In the end, it all comes down to what works best for you. Some people are funny and can open with a joke. It is always a good people to make people laugh. Others can simply go and say hi. Others ask for a opinion.

Test different approaches and see what works for you but start with the simplest method – “hello”.

Q: What if she is with someone else?

A: Well, generally, unless you approach her on the street, she will be with someone else. Group dynamics are rather complicated so I’ll give you two simple rules.

The first one – if she is in a group, go and befriend the group, not her. It is strange for a stranger to come and talk to only one person plus you’ll antagonize everyone. So talk to the entire group and later focus on the particular person.

Second – if the group is not interested, don’t insist. You’ll just be that guy that ruins their day and it is never a good idea. You can do this at some point, you can get past this barrier but it takes a lot of experience and practice.

Q: What do I do if she simply ignores me?

A: You move on. She’s not interested. Don’t insist. There are more than enough girls out there and if she decided from the first three seconds she is not interested, you should focus on overturning this at a later date.

However, there is a difference between ignoring you and not hearing you.

Often, in night clubs it is so loud that you may say something and she may not even notice. That’s why when you say something you should touch her lightly, so she acknowledges your presence. You can touch her on the arm, which comes as non-threatening and smile in the same time.

Q: If I’m in a group, should I go alone or take someone with me?

A: Always approach alone.

It is intimidating as it is to be approached by a stranger. It is harder when you do it with someone else. If you want to use a wingman (someone who helps you in a seduction scenario), then the other person should focus on the group / female partner / male partner) and you should deal only with the target.

However, this is not a science, it is an art. I’ve approached with a friend on the street and it worked. It all comes down to how much each person will talk.

Ideally two people will talk and the third will say something from time to time, but not all three people at the same time.

How Attraction Works

What does a woman want?

Well, most people would say “nobody knows”. Even the women around you may say the same thing

But this is not true.

And to help you understand, let’s make a computer analogy.

There is Android and IOS. These are two operating systems for mobile phones. Chances are that you have one of them. For example, if you have a Samsung phone, you have Android. If you have an iPhone, you have IOS.

Both serve the same purpose – to make calls, play music, videos, surf the Internet, etc.

However, even if they do exactly the same, they are different.

You can’t install IOS programs on Android and you can’t do the opposite. They share the same purpose but have a different architecture.

The same applies to men and women.

We are essentially built the same but in the same time, very, very different. Apart from the anatomical differences which you are very aware of, there are also psychological differences.

That’s why it is being said that men are from Mars and women are from Venus.

That’s why us, as man, find it so difficult to understand woman.

It is like they speak another language. A language of emotions, of small details while we are more factual. Woman want to express themselves, we want to get it done.

Let me give you an example, as it usually happens in a relationship.

Your girlfriend is upset. She says that she’s OK but you know that this is not true.

You insist. She tells you that she’s fine. Then you leave her alone and she gets even more upset because you’ve left her alone.

You try again to discover – frustrated of what is happening. You find out, it is a small problem at work. You suggest some plans, some course of action but she is not interested. She is interested only in talking.

After two hours of talking, even if the problems is still there, she is happy. She is acting like nothing ever happened. She never wanted help. She just wanted to express her feelings.

For us, this may seem very irrational.

  • She wants help?
  • She doesn’t want help?
  • She wants time alone?
  • She doesn’t?
  • Does she even know?

But this is because we judge this from our point of view and not from hers.

We see things in a different manner compared to the opposite sex. It is not like you are right and she is wrong or the other way.

This is not the goal.

In life it is not about being right, it is about getting results.

Instead, the goal is to find a common ground, one in which you can both work, so you can understand her behavior and that she can understand yours.

What does this have to do with attraction?

Well, it is not about the things that you think it creates attraction, it is about what it makes her feel attracted.

Let’s take bad-boys. Why are girls so attracted to bad guys?

Well, the answer is simple. It is in their traits and what they express through that.

They are interesting. Like a game. Hard to decypher. They are exciting. Always giving her something new. Giving her emotions and a woman (and a man too) is wired to want to feel. It is what makes us human.

They are unpredictable. You don’t know what to expect.

A nice guys get her emotions to 5 maybe. A bad boy gets them to 50.

And emotions are the fuel to attraction. Emotions are the wood required to create the fire. Without emotions, there is no attraction. You can’t convince someone to be rationally attracted to you.

You can only make her feel attracted by generating the right emotions. Emotions are the tool of the game.

And how do you do this?

It is what I like to call the roller coaster effect.

Have you’ve ever been on a roller-coaster? It is purely insane. It is a combination of adrenaline, fear, enjoyment, excitement and ten more other things. Now you are fearful, the next moment you are feeling ecstatic.

The same thing works in generating attraction.

You need to take her through an “emotional rollercoaster”.

Make her feel good then leave. Make her fear losing you (not in other way, there is good fear and bad fear). Give her the time of her life then let her want you back. When she gets closer to you, push her away a bit and in the same time, get closer to her. Give her a true rollercoaster and she’ll be MAD about you.

This concept is rather hard to understand for most guys. They don’t see the point in everything. They don’t see why they have to bother with this.

Well my friend, I don’t know either but it is what it is.

This is the game and these are the rules. You can appeal to the rational mind in many circumstances – business, social, life, education but when it comes to get a girl naked and willing, it is not that effective. Actually, some of the most successful guys when it comes to getting laid are not even that smart.

Some are plain stupid.

Yet, because they don’t try to act on a rational level but instead on a primal, instinctual one, they get laid. A lot. I know that it is sad. I know that it is unfair.

But this is reality and you can either play by its rules or go become a monk.

So here’s the lesson you need to learn here – if you want to be successful with the opposite sex, discard everything you think you know about it.

It is a completely different way of seeing the world and what makes sense to you may not make sense to hear and the other way around.

The faster you understand the rules and the faster you can see things through her own eyes, the faster you’ll make her fall for you.