Self-esteem is your own worth, your own perception of worth since this is very subjective. There is no universal standard of what you deserve and what are your options. Instead, it is something you decide, through what you think and through how you behave.
And self-esteem limits your dating options.
Do you remember the old score? That if you are a seven, you can get a maximum of eight and anything under it? It is BS. You can get a ten if you want and if you work for it.
The problem with most people is that they consider themselves a five or a six and that most cute girls are out of their reach. Not only this but everything good in life is out of their reach. That amazing experiences are for “other people” but not for them.
While there is a limit to your achievement, a real hard limit, there is no limit to your potential. I’ll be honest. If you are ugly and fat, don’t expect to get a ten. Or a eight. Or a seven. Things do not work this way.
But if you are ugly and fat, you can make yourself handsome and hit the gym. And transform yourself from a five to a seven. In the end, everything that is humanly possible is within your reach.
The cliche of “being liked for what you are” works within some boundaries. You’ll attract people like you. If you are a five, you’ll attract your equal and your inferior. So the only rational choice is to make yourself a better person and attract higher quality people.
You can’t do what you are not. This is one of the basic principles of life. So if it offers you any comfort, you can attract and sleep with girls up to a level. There are a lot of girls who want to be in your bed tonight. But if you want the amazing ones, the ones you fantasize about, then work on yourself.